Strategic Travel

Ah, the joys of the family vacation. For some families, this entails group decision making and dinner-time discussions about where to go and what to see. For me, planning the family vacation is all about strategy and finesse. Why? Because I'm married to a better idea man. If I plan it, he'll change it.

For the longest time, I refused to plan anything.

Years passed.

While other families took marvelous vacations together, we'd be spotted outside a sold-out football stadium searching the cracks in the cement for tickets that may have fallen out of someone's pocket. The only activities you can do without advanced planning is Monster Truck Jam and ice skating. And, sometimes Monster Truck Jam is sold out.

One night, we returned home from a friend's house where we watched slides of their family vacation projected onto the living room drapes, and I weakened. We could do that, I said.

What? Force guests to watch a slide show on a set of swaying curtains?

Take a family vacation, I suggested.

Sure, he said. Why don't you plan something?

I spent a total of six days on the phone. All told, I collected fourteen brochures on exciting sites to visit, made eight flight itineraries and booked five reservations in different hotels. I presented the complete vacation package, sorted by geographical location, to a husband who didn't pause before asking: Why don't we try a dude ranch?

To avoid another multi-year strike, I have adopted a brilliant strategy.

I called the airline that has accumulated most of our frequent flyer miles and, without much deliberation at all, booked a flight to London. This is the finesse: this flight has to be non-exchangeable and non-returnable.

Next, I checked the internet for accommodations and made a reservation at a much-too-expensive small hotel. I was done. Done! I only have to tell my husband the price, and he will be hot on the trail of a 'more reasonable' hotel. That's my strategy, and it works like magic.

He will price compare and cross check the London city maps. This will take days. I will leave the file drawer open so he can peruse the expired coupons we've been storing for decades. He will call AAA, AARP and maybe even the American Bar Association because sometimes they offer great package deals. There is no question where we will stay. We belong to a member benefits program with a large hotel chain. That's where we will end up after he spends 15 hours researching hotel accommodations in London. But he will sleep well there, knowing he got a better rate than I did.

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"House Hunting." Laugh Out Loud Column, Annapolis Home Magazine, 2010.

"iPhone Fever." Good News Network, 2010.

New York Times Magazine, LIVES column, "Fear and Laughing." August 9, 2009

New York Times, Modern Love, July 1, 2007 - "Whereas You Were an Insensitive Fool"

Winner: 2008 DCJCC Literary Festival "Philodendron"

"Survive the revision process." The Writer Magazine.

"The Ring Leader." Metro Family Magazine, September 2007

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